Vocation Discovery for the Jobless

This post is dedicated, in part, to Mark Stump, my fellow unemployed pal, and lasagna-maker extraordinaire.

I am currently going through a vocation book titled "Let Your Life Speak" by Parker J. Palmer*. While this is good timing, since I am unemployed, I'm finding that it might be more frustrating if I were to apply his methods to my job searching. His take on discovering our true vocation is to look inward, not outward. Basically, we were BORN to do something. I like his theory for sure, and have already started to discover traits in myself that would lead me towards certain types of employment.

My self-discovery has led me to realize that I am a pioneer. I do not and never have enjoyed any job where I carry through systems and processes that someone before me created. I really enjoy starting something and doing it different than expected. I love the idea of opening my own shop, or starting my own company. It's not so much that I have an entrepreunerial spirit, especially, or that I want to devise clever ways to rake in the dough, I just want to start something myself. It's the same reason I wanted to make pie's out of mud in the backyard and I wanted to dig my own swimming pool (ended up using the trash can instead) and make up my own language. I have an innate desire to forge new territory, discover, create, and pioneer the new, the different, the unexpected.

Here is the somewhat obvious problem: How, exactly do I make this pioneering possible? Those of you who know me well, know that I have side projects in excess. A cookie company with my cousin, an advertising agency (of sorts) with my friend from church, and a few more that are in the beginning phases.

Here is the second problem: None of these side projects make me any money. Since I do need money to survive in California and to buy gas, I've resorted to a daily browsing of Craigslist and local job postings. I've applied for everything that fits into my basic needs right now: local, lucrative, flexible schedule, and a tiny bit interesting. Bummer. I have to join the "work force" along with everyone else, and learn processes using existing programs and computers to get the same job done that someone has already done a zillion times before me. For most, this is an exciting challenge and they can find joy in doing what they were meant to do in this environment. I, however, shrivel up and come home each day feeling defeated, knowing I spent the day doing what I'm not made to do.


*Disclaimer: I have not read this book in full, so I cannot give a fully proper review. So please take with a grain of salt!